"Bottoms up, bottoms up"

I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t judge another mom until you’ve walked all day on her sticky floor. But I must admit, when another mom is having a bad moment, I secretly feel a bit of relief knowing that I’m not alone. Well today, the moms of Glenmore Place have me to thank for lowering the bar.

Maybe it was because of my chaotic day yesterday, or maybe I was distracted by royal wedding fever — whatever it was — I was severely off my game today. Swamped with work and unable to get a babysitter, I was attempting to handle a few things from home, alone with all four kids. As noon approached, I was still in my pajamas diligently working on my computer taking an occasional break to peek at the newly posted royal wedding photos.

We are still in the throes of potty training (yes, I know it’s been two months), so David is playing in the dining room naked. Claire and Edwin have finally gone outside to ride their bikes on the sidewalk and Cate is clinging to my neck like a chimpanzee.

The monkey on my back

After about 10 (relatively) productive minutes, I notice it: the uneasy quiet that any mom recognizes as trouble.

Where’s David?, I ask.

“Dare he is,” David’s twin Cate replies as she points out the window.

I freeze as I look outside trying to process how he got there. Not only is he riding a Dora bike in the middle of our somewhat busy street, he has nothing on except three stickers. I race outside barefoot and yelling like a crazed Wal-Mart mom. His white skin is reflecting in the sun and I might as well be surrendering my motherhood card. I glance right and left to survey the damage, no neighbors or Child Protective Services agents in sight.

Wittle jay bird

Whew. Breathing a sign of relief, I pull him into the driveway, start laughing and wonder if it’s too early for a drink.