Florida 2010
We just wrapped up a week’s vacation at the beach with Unnamed Husband’s family. By definition a vacation is a leisure trip or excursion. While enjoyable and full of the usual vacation gluttony, our trip was anything but leisurely. With four kids burning through eight swimsuits a day, more gear than a U-haul can carry and not a babysitter in sight, let’s just say the labor was intense.
I have really great childhood memories of summer trips to the beach and I want my kids to have the same. One of the sweet things about being a child is that you have no freaking clue what your parents go through on “vacation.”
You’ve probably noticed by now that I’m a list maker. So here’s my list of ten signs that your vacation is no longer a vacation:
1. The time spent packing and unpacking exceeds the time spent vacation.
2. You’ve mastered in-car yoga moves stretching to give the kids drinks, snacks, toys, etc. Namaste.
3. You consider jumping off the Mid-Bay Bridge just to escape the scene in the car.
About the time I considered jumping out of a moving vehicle
4. You manage to cook everyone breakfast without taking a single sip of your coffee while it’s warm.
5. By the time you get swimsuits on everyone, and get everyone out to the beach it’s time to go in for lunch.
6. By the time you get sunscreen on everyone else, you’re burned.
7. The kids manage to get more sand on you than there is in all of their crotches combined.
8. You read more on the back of the cereal box than you do of your book.
9. Despite your efforts to stay on top of it, the laundry pile looks like Big Kahuna on ‘roids.
10. There’s more tar balls in swim diapers than there are on the beach.
If they only knew...
